I’m tired. I am not complaining, it’s just a fact. Living with a mental illness can do that to you. It always seems like an uphill battle. There are days that seem easier than others and we tend to gauge our wellness on how we feel from one day to the next. Are feelings being often fickle and if we go to them to define whether we are doing well or not, we may be deceived. I suffer from a mood disorder so my “feelings” are always trying to control me. I used to get up each morning and think “I feel this way or that way so today is going to be __________ (fill in the blank).
But now things are different. I get up each morning and the first thing I do is thank God for the beautiful day. Now the day may not be beautiful weather wise, but it is the day God has made and I am alive, so it is beautiful. Doing that one thing can change my outlook on the whole day. My mood may be dark, or it may be manic, but the trueness of God and his goodness never changes. I can rest assured that as long as I invite God to share my day with me, no matter what happens, it is a good day.
The Lord reminds me often that He loves me. He loves you too. I know you may not believe that when you are in the throes of an episode. Depression or anxiety may reign supreme in your life right now. But that does not define you. You have the Lord God fighting this battle with you. And do not, for one minute, think this is not a battle, because it is. It is a battle for normalcy. We fight it every day and it is exhausting sometimes. I know. I am right there with you. But, ultimately, this battle has already been won. We need only to call on God for help. God can revive a tired spirit, and heal a fractured mind, and ease our depression or anxiety. Spending some time with the Lord is key. I am not saying that praying, reading the Bible and meditation is the cure all. I believe thoroughly in the value of medication and therapy but trusting God with our healing is vital. He is the missing piece. If you take the time to schedule some time with the Lord, it will change your life.
I used to get so worn out from fighting this battle all on my own. One day I turned the whole thing over to God and entered into a much-needed rest. I am still resting in Him. This does not mean I am not still fighting, I am. But now I know that I can turn to Scripture and prayer and get filled with the strength I need to fight each day. I have said that sometimes, the bravest thing I do is get out of bed in the morning. That is true because I know there will be a hard-fought battle I will face, but I also know that I do not battle alone.
If you are tired, go to God. Allow Him to hold you and imbibe you with strength from above to fight the battle that is mental illness. He knows just what you need to overcome the obstacles you face. He will refresh you and strengthen you, so you can fight another day. Never give up!!