I was reminded today of how dependent my son and I are on our medications. My son suffers from Unipolar depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Bipolar tendencies and I suffer from type 1 Bipolar disorder. He takes three medications to keep him stable and I take six. I had a Doctor appointment today with my primary Doctor because I have been having symptoms of type two diabetes. I went to get this checked out and he was not surprised I am having these symptoms because one of my medications that I take a very high dosage of, causes weight gain (and boy do I know that) and type 2 diabetes. Great. So, while my Bipolar is somewhat stable right now, I have to deal with the ramifications of taking medications to make me better only to make certain other conditions worse. He did blood work and told me I was going to have to lose weight. Great again. He said I have to believe in my mind that I can lose weight and get healthy. Actually, I need to depend on God to help me lose weight and get healthy. I need His strength, His guidance, and even a little tail kicking just to keep me on the right path. I know you have suffered from something very much like this. If the meds cause you to gain weight, affect you metabolically, make you sick if you do not take them, I feel your pain.
So does my son. Today he came downstairs very ill. I asked him what was up. He said he was out of one of his medications so he couldn’t take it last night. He thought it was no big deal except he was up all night going through withdrawal which continued into this morning. Fortunately, I had picked up his medication at the store after my Doctor appointment so he could take it ASAP, but he had to call off work because he was too sick to go.
He and I do not like being this dependent on medication and dealing with the side effects, but it is a part of our life now. I know God heals supernaturally and can do it anytime He wishes, but for me and my son, He has chosen to heal us through Doctor’s, therapy, and medication. I have to be ok with that. But it means counting pills to make sure I have enough for the week. Planning in advance if I am going to go out-of-town. Dealing with the side effects and the sickness when I miss a dose. If I want to wake up in the morning without feeling ill, I have to take my medications by 7:00 p m and be in bed by 9:30. I miss out on a lot of fun family time but it is the price I have to pay to stay level and sane. But God always reminds me that I would be far worse without the medication so I take them, without fail, every night. And now I have to deal with the illnesses these meds cause, and more than likely, meds for that as well.
If you are in the same place, the only advice I can give you is to tell your heart to God. Let Him reassure you He is in control. Depend on Him when you are feeling ill and when you are feeling better and accept that it is just a part of your life. I had to walk this road too and am still walking it. Acceptance is difficult, but necessary. Invite the Holy Spirit into your wellness plan and accept His gentle nudging away from that peanut buster parfait and instead have a banana. I know it is not going to be easy for any of us to get healthy and lose weight and if you do not need to lose weight than kudos to you, but for the rest of us, I believe with God’s help, we can accomplish anything. But, take your medicine no matter how much you don’t want to. I am.